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![Life Stinks]()
Life Stinks (1991)
IMDB rating: 5.00
Plot: A rich businessman makes a bet he can survive on the streets of a rough Los Angeles neighborhood for 30 days completely penniless. During his stay he discovers another side of life and falls in love with with a homeless woman.
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Directors: Brooks Mel
Actors: Barty Billy,Tambor Jeffrey,Ensign Michael,Pankin Stuart,Morris Howard,De Luca Rudy,Wilson Teddy,Faison Matthew,Thompson Brian,O’Connor Raymond,Caridi Carmine,Shore Sammy,Roman Frank,Comedy,
Need help distancing myself from a friend.?
This may be a bit of a special case.
She is a good friend to me and anoverall good person but so mentally draining that after 3 years, I can barely stand it anymore. I want to keep the friendship but backing off has been hard because she is so clueless. Telling her would hurt her. We are both adults, I am 29, she is in her late 30’s. Sheis not bright so spekaing to her, you have to be very clear. Not her fault, she has had learning issues her whole life but she ha a hard time comprehending things without being very direct, like with a child…almost. While this can be annoying after long periods, this is not why I want to distance myself a little. She calls often. Many times a day. When the phone rings, even my kids assume its her! Often at 7:50am when I am getting me and the kids ready. All she does is complain and yes, her complaints are validated. The hand she has been dealt stinks! Its true but I would love one peaceful conversation with her. She does not drive and her husband is a piece of cr*p! She is 110% dependant on him but since he is useless she becomes very dependant on me bc I am her one friend because she is hard to deal with. So, I feel an obligation to her. Not to be her friend, I want to be friends but I feel obligated to do so much for her. All the errands and Its like she is in the family, not just a friend. She s*cks up a lot of my own time. Back to the calls. I say Im going to the gym. Class ends at 10am. She calls at 10:02am and surprised asks if Im still their bc the class ended at 10!! She stands so close to me when she talks. Ive talked to her about this but it doesnt stop. I back up until Iam on the other side of the room! "Conversations" are usually her talking(complaining). If I dare speak, she goes on abut her problems, again!
I dont want to keep going on about this but there is so much more! Just to give you an idea.I ahve tried ignoring calls and waiting a day or two but Ive had dozens of calls in a row. I need a break! Help me not be 100% direct but as subtle as possible.
I had the same problem with a friend I had to look at your picture to see if you may know my former friend because you described her EXACTLY! Get away QUICK……………..Its a total drain on your energy and time! I told my friend that I no longer wanted to continue being friends and ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE! She stalked me for almost a year and spread a bunch of lies all over town. She corner friends and family including my husband spouting her hate and "SO CALLED TRUTH"…she started showing up at my job demanding my schedule. A total nut case. Get away now. I had to fiel stalking charges. My car windows where busted and many other instances of vandalismn. Please be careful! You need to at the very least protect your family ok. BE CAREFUL!
roseysuzy1128 | Feb 09, 2010
well to be honest i dont think there is any way around this without being direct to her but i think you need to go get some drinks or something and just tell her how you feel in a nice way but make sure she gets it cuz if she is so dependant on her POS husband and hasnt left she wont leave you be strong
tizzy12345 | Feb 09, 2010
I myself had a friend exactly the same! I distance myself by ignoring all the calls and texts! It took a a good two weeks before i answered one of the texts and i kept it real short but nice about it! Told her i had been really busy with the kids and hubby and when i asked her how she was doing i knew i wasn’t gonna get a good response i would say sorry Joey (my son) is getting into something we’ll talk later! Its been a year now and i might hear from her once a month or kids birthdays! Her and I have been friends for over ten years too! But I definitely feel u on that note! Its tough but stick with it eventually she will get tired of voice mails and un answered texts!
mexi1181 | Feb 09, 2010
Try asking her to call you less often because you’re busy taking care of your children or something. Tell her you’ll call her at a certain time every day (or every other day) so that maybe/hopefully she’ll not feel the need to call you as much (you have to make sure you stick to the times/days you said you would call her though).
For the calling at 10:02 when your class ends at 10:00 - tell her you are going to stay a little late and would possibly like to take a shower or relax for maybe an hour or half hour afterwards.
You could also suggest that she could get her own job, even if it’s part time and to make her own bank account that her husband doesn’t know about. That way, she could save her own money to possibly move out on her own or to not be so dependent on him. It may take a little time, but it would be worth it.
InitialFailure | Feb 09, 2010
There is nothing wrong with being kind, honest, and firm. Understand that her constant calling and asking for help is, in fact, a way to control your life. She wants your undivided attention, and even if that means pulling you away from your personal life and monitoring your location 24/7 by calling you and demanding to know where you are, she will continue to do so. As you say, she’s dependent. And she’s depending on you.
When she calls you, tell her that YOU feel uncomfortable with how often she calls you. Don’t focus on her; such as, "I think you’re an idiot for calling people all the time." Let YOU be the focus. Say something like, "I feel very awkward when you call me and ask to know where I am all the time. Please do not call me unless it is an emergency."
Also, set specific guidelines. If you tell her, "Could you not call so much?" she may stop calling for a few days, but she’ll inevitably start doing it again with time. Say something definite, like, "Do not call me more than once a day," or, "Don’t call me. I will call you at 5pm every other day." Make calls on YOUR terms!
As far as her complaining, venting happens. But you don’t have to listen to it all; in fact, it’s healthier for her to talk about her problems to other people who can give her different suggestions than you can. Let her know that. Tell her, "I know you’ve been through a lot, but I don’t have anything else to tell you that could make it better. Maybe if you talk to Ms. Smith, she will have better ideas."
Hope that helps, and good luck with everything–
Valah | Feb 09, 2010
Seungri 
| Jan 30, 2010